Some like it hot. The men and women of Alison Kent’s sizzling SG-5 series like it hotter. In this all-new novel of steamy suspense, the jungle is the only place wild enough for a hotshot helicopter pilot and a renegade rich girl with one hell of an agenda…
Bachelor parties are fun, as long as you’re not the poor sap getting hitched…or slipped a Mickey and waking to discover you just became the poor sap. Not to mention that your “wife” is pregnant, and if you don’t go along to her village to meet the in-laws, the nice police comandante will be muy unhappy. Just another day in the life of helicopter pilot J. Jackson Briggs? Not so much. His Smithson Group gig wasn’t supposed to be dangerous, but the the woman who drugs him, then knocks him out, then drugs him again certainly is. She also may or may not be a nun. She’s definitely a lying, scheming, lethally gorgeous…American. Jack’s light years from believing the story Jillian Endicott gives him about her noble cause in the sweltering wilds of San Torisco, but he knows one thing: he’ll get the truth—and plenty more—from her, one way or another…
Being an Endicott of the Boston Endicotts taught Jillian plenty about the haves vs. the have-nots—and made it easy to choose sides. But there’s nothing easy about her mission in San Torisco, and things only get harder when Jack Briggs is thrown into the mix. Six-foot-three of big Texas mouth and big…other things…Jack’s pegged her as a bored little rich girl. Hey, he can think what he wants, as long as he does what she wants. Do unto others what needs to be done—that’s Jillian’s motto. Problem is, Jack knows how to push her buttons from minute one—and the closer he gets to pushing her over the edge, the more she wants him to…
Now under dark velvet cover of jungle nights, two rebels with a cause are going deep—and falling hard—for the perfect stranger…
Okay everybody. This is a contest you sure as hell don't want to miss. The lovely Alison Kent has offered me a copy of her forthcoming Brava release 'The Perfect Stranger' to give away here on She Who Loves Romance Novels.
Before I tell you how to win, here's a little teaser to wet your tastebuds.
Golden had been too optimistic a word. It was a damn sweltering pig sty out here.
The bandana he’d tied around his head was drenched, sweat dripping off the fabric and into his eyes.
He wasn’t about to complain, what with Jillian ahead of him silently soldiering on, and him not relishing looking like a puss.
She was a hella strong woman, both physically and mentally, doing what needed to be done and staying smart every step of the way. She had yet to make a move or decision he’d felt might be the wrong one.
Of course, she knew where they were going, and he had absolutely no clue, but there was more to her confidence than her sense of direction. She’d been doing this guerilla thing awhile, and it showed.
He could tell by the way she pressed forward, always alert, never hesitating over a change in direction, never ending up with a low-hanging branch in her eye, never sinking up to her ankles in fetid jungle muck.
And it wasn’t like he was some kind of sissy metro boy who hated the thought of getting dirt under his nails, or breaking a sweat outside of the gym.
Hell, look at what he did for a living, the places he had to fly into, the scrapes he had to dig himself and the SG-5 operatives out of.
In fact, the last time he’d sat behind a desk had been during his aeromedical training.
But damn if Sister Jillian didn’t know her way around the great outdoors.
And if she wasn’t the sexiest thing ever to wear army boots, then he’d been downloading the wrong photos.
To be entered to win a copy of 'The Perfect Stranger' tell me a joke. Any joke, simple or complex. I really need to laugh. And if you need even more enticement to tell me your joke scroll up to read my review of 'The Perfect Stranger' where I will tell you why I think this book ROCKS!
Post your jokes on this thread. And keep it clean people! Or at least rated R, :)
13 comments:
Hello Maria,
Would love to win this book. I love Alison's books and this one I am waiting to read :-) Here are a few jokes :-
Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant.
Thinking fast she replied "food on the table".
Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a bitch" mean.
Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest".
Next day he comes home a asks what does "fuckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed".
That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring.
He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a bitch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuckin'".
___________________________________
LITTLE JOHNNY: MORE THAN A MOUTHFUL
Little Johnny's teacher says, "Class, today we are going to learn multi-syllable words. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"
Little Johnny raises his hand, "Me, Miss Finch!"
Miss Finch turns towards the eager young lad, "All right, Little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable
word?"
Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate".
Miss Finch smiles and says, "Well, little Johnny, that sure is a mouthful!".
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Finch, you're thinking of a blowjob".
Hugssss
Linda.H.
Hi Maria! Oh I'd too love to read this one! Ok here goes:
Cowboy Boots
An elderly couple is vacationing in the West.
Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them back to the hotel, walking proudly.
He walks into their hotel room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Helen?"
Helen looks him over, "Nope."
Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Helen, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?"
Helen looks again, "Nope."
Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots.
Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything
DIFFERENT?"
Helen looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, HELEN? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"
To which Helen replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam, shoulda bought a hat."
Ok I had to put another one cuz I laughed so hard with this one!!
Chain letter for women only
This letter was started by a woman, like yourself, in the hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discontended women.Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally frustrated. Then bundle up your husband or partner, and send him to the woman whose name appears on the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,877 men! One of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have.Do not break the chain. One woman broke the chain and got the old son-of-a-bitch back again!At this writing, a friend of mine already received 384 men... They buried her yesterday, but it took three undertakers to get the smile off her face and two days to get her legs together so they could close the coffin.Hurry up and send this letter so my name can move up fast!
Okay Maria here goes: And god created woman with three breasts. And woman spoke, "Lord, I need but two breasts." God agreed with this wisdom and removed the third breast. "What are you going to do with that useless boob?" asked woman. And god created man. Would really like a copy of the book!
Hi Maria
Here's an Irish joke in honor of St. Patty's.
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's
have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
Okay, here's my contribution :)
The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. He had the same experience.
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed, and said a cheery, "Good morning!" They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "After we got ready for bed, I tucked Daryl in and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
A Lesson in Church
A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked "Who created the Earth and man?" The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, "GOD!" The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right."
Then he asked "Who is God's son?" Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!" Again, the priest said, "Correct."
Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?" The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed "Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!" The priest smiled and said, "That's right."
Hi Maria!
I liked you guest post on Alison's blog. It was so right on!
Well, here is my joke...
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her eyes wide open and her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you want to know about sex?"
The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
Not much for even remembering jokes, but my sister sent me this and it still makes me chuckle.
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS...
10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."
5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
3. You're counting down the days until menopause.
2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
3 men complain about their wives giving them the same lunch every day.
A polish man, an Italian and a German.
The Italian says if she gives me a mb hero one more time, i will jump off this girder. Next day, mb hero and he jumps.
The German says if I get bratwurst one more time, I will shoot myself. He gets the brat and kills himself.
The Polish man gets his kielbasi again and also kills himself.
The 3 widows are at the funerals and the Italian and German widows, said why didnt he tell me. The Polish widow, said I dont understand mine made his own lunch.
Hello Maria,
I have a few more jokes to share with you :-)
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
Hugssss
Linda.H.
Another one. This is evil but funny LoL.
When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Hugssss
Linda.H.
My joke didnt show - will try again.
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in court going thru the divorce proceedings.
Minnie tells the judge, I dont understand why Mickey would divorce me for being silly.
Mickey tells the judge, I didnt say she was silly - I said she was
fuc...g Goofy.
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